Looking back at baby Oliver’s arrival!

Before I had Molly I used to ask friends of mine – so what was it like having a baby? “Amazing” is what I always got back, and, having been through it once myself, I have to completely agree with them! Sadly it all happens so quickly and it’s all too easy to forget the wonderful journey you’ve been on. So when we realised that number two was on its way, I decided this time to keep a diary so I could treasure those memories a bit longer. Here are some extracts that you can compare your own journey with or, for those at the start of this life changing journey, a few to help you better acquaint yourselves on what to expect:

October 2008
So I am going to be a father again and I am filled with feelings of happiness tinged with a little anxiety. We had a few miscarriages before, so we are understandably cautious (as you always are in the beginning anyway). So what are my thoughts on once again being a father? We have already been blessed with a beautiful little girl, Molly, and now we are about to have a new addition to the family. I guess the not knowing whether it’s a boy or another girl gives it that hint of excitement. What would my preference be? At this point not sure. A boy to carry on the legacy or another dominant woman in my life?! You forget how nice a feeling it is when you discover you’re going to be a parent again. You embrace your first child for all of those years and forget the emotions you go through.

March 2009
How will I cope with two kids?
Now there are going to be two children in my life how do I feel about that? Well to be honest, excited! I could see where people could look at it as a burden, especially when the economy is taking a nose-dive, but I look at it as a blessing. Both of us are looking forward to the new baby and we have talked at length about how we will work in tandem together. We got the balance right with Molly so there’s no reason why we can’t juggle everything successfully again.

May 2009
What support will I need to offer my wife?
Our situation will be so different when the new baby comes along. You forget about those sleepless nights in the beginning and feeling like the useless man who isn’t able to give the support he would like to offer. The sleepless nights are one thing, but when you wake up and your wife is breastfeeding what are your options? Going back to sleep and incurring the ‘look of death’ or waking up in your bleary eyed state and offering some help? Choose the latter! Early on when Molly was born I woke-up and asked if Charlotte, my wife, needed any help and unfortunately then promptly fell asleep again. You can imagine the look I got in the morning when I asked if she’d had a good night!


June 2009
How are we preparing for the second baby?
Now it’s time to get things going. Second time around you tell yourself you’re in control and nothing can phase you. How hard can it be? It’s only then that you realise that there is so much you have to prepare for. Where will the baby sleep? Is the house prepared? Now that Molly is a toddler the ‘danger’ factor around the house has increased, so we need to have a look around the house and make a few decisions. Rooms need to be decorated, furniture built and sold....

June 2009
How do we prepare Molly for number two?
Molly, aged three (going on thirteen), has a strong character and is fiercely protective of her domain. Is she ready to share her space, her life and her parents? Firstly it’s the transition from cot to bed, then small room to bigger room. At least these things are positive. Now it’s time for the dreaded painting again. I’m not great at DIY (my living is pushing pens), but there’s no escaping the challenge of the new built-in wardrobe. With Molly’s help (and some deep soul searching) the room is done. I can stand back, look at it and think yes! Molly is ready for the change. The first night goes well, Molly is queen of the castle and proud of her new space.

July 2009
The months have flown by - am I ready?
So where has the time gone? Not long ago there were two lines on a pregnancy test that told me I had nine months to get my mind in gear. Now I am once again at that stage where I’m thinking the time is fast approaching. I’m feeling ready and very positive. The last few days have been strange. There have been regular contractions, is this the time? We’ve just had the thirty-eight week scan and we have been told that the baby is a good size and there should be no problem with the home birth. So the pool has been tested for holes and the time it takes to fill has been noted. Still don’t know the sex but happy either way.

August 2009
Nearly there - the end is in sight.
A couple of days to go now. I’m generally feeling that this baby will be here earlier than expected, call it male intuition (not that we’re renowned for it). If it was to happen now we’re totally prepared. Will it be easier this time round? Who knows? The rooms are ready, the bump’s ready, let’s bring on number two.

August 2009
Contractions are getting stronger today. Could this be it?
We’re convinced that today will be the day. It just feels right. There is an air of calm and anticipation around the house. Charlotte is taking things easy; Molly is oblivious to it all. I’m at work but able to be found wherever I am. So it’s an early shift today, then home to look after my wife and daughter and, who knows, by the end of the night we could be parents again.

Time to get into the pool.
So we’re reaching the end of the night now. The midwife has been here for a little while and has asked Charlotte to get into the pool. The last time we were here (in the pool) was with Molly. Things didn’t quite go to plan then but we were in no doubt that, given the option, we’d choose a home birth again. The pool is just the right temperature and already Charlotte is hitting the gas pretty hard (what do anxious dads get?). We have one midwife in attendance and another one is expected, so from my point of view everything is covered. I think the homebirth has contributed towards the experience being better this time round. I have decided to hang back and let them all get on with their work instead of getting in the way. Charlotte is on course and screaming the house down. Upstairs Molly is fast asleep and unaware that she is just about to become a big sister.

August 06 2009
Welcome to the world Oliver John Julien!
So there you have it. A day of contractions; just a couple of hours in the pool and Oliver John Julien is born on Thursday 6th August at 12.12pm and weighing in at a healthy 7lbs 15oz. That split second he came out in the water and straight into Charlotte’s arms will live with me for the rest of my life. I’m glad now that we opted for the home birth as it gave us the calm, relaxed environment we desperately wanted. Mother and baby are very well; father is just smiling too much to really talk but holding his little boy in his arms has given him the ultimate feeling of fulfilment. Now we have the perfect family life that was already great just got even better.